Have you ever tried to reseal a jar after it’s been opened?

Last month we talked about polarization in the workplace and the division it can create within teams. But division doesn’t just come from differing opinions.

It often comes from our response to them.

When someone shares a view we disagree with, there’s a natural impulse:

Make sure they know what I think.
Clarify my position.
Defend my perspective.

That instinct isn’t wrong. But how we communicate it matters — deeply.

We discussed empathy, kindness, and respect. If we simplify that even further, it comes down to one thing:

The words we choose.

The pickle jar principle

Our words are like breaking the seal on a brand-new jar of pickles.

Before it’s opened, everything is contained. Tight. Secure.

But once that seal is broken, you can never tighten it quite the same way again.

Words work the same way.

Once they leave our mouth and land on someone else’s ears, they cannot be unsaid. They cannot be unheard. They cannot be fully pulled back.

And if those words are not perceived as empathetic, kind, or respectful, the impact can be significant:

• Trust weakens

• Assumptions form

• Culture absorbs the strain

We can’t control how someone receives what we say. That’s exactly why we must be vigilant about what we choose to say in the first place.

This applies to everyone — especially leaders

This is true for team members.

It is amplified for leaders.

Leaders often communicate to dozens, hundreds, sometimes thousands of people at once. Each person filters those words through their own experiences, emotions, and context.

The larger the audience, the greater the responsibility.

You can’t put words back in the jar.
You can’t reseal what’s already been opened.

So before speaking — especially in tense moments — pause.

Ask:

• Is this necessary?

• Is this clear?

• Is this respectful?

• Is this aligned with the culture we’re trying to build?

Culture is shaped conversation by conversation.

And leadership is not just about what we think.

It’s about choosing words that build trust — before the seal is broken.