Coaching vs. Confirmation: Are You Building Potential or Just Validating Effort?

When was the last time you gave someone feedback—was it true coaching, or just confirmation?

Confirmation is about recognition. It’s the pat on the back, the “nice job,” the acknowledgment that someone completed what was expected. And let’s be clear: this matters. People want to know their work is seen and appreciated. Recognition fuels motivation and provides encouragement.

But confirmation alone isn’t enough.

Think back to the role of a coach on a sports team. Yes, a coach will confirm when a player makes a good play. But the real value of coaching isn’t in the recognition—it’s in the challenge. It’s in pointing out what can be done better, creating a pathway for improvement, and pushing the team to its full potential.

In too many workplaces, “coaching” has been hijacked by HR processes and tied to progressive discipline. The word itself can feel like a warning sign, when in reality, coaching should be the most energizing part of leadership. Done right, it unlocks performance, builds confidence, and helps individuals stretch beyond what they thought possible.

So how can leaders provide good coaching?

• Be specific, not vague. Instead of “you did well,” point to the exact behavior that worked—and the exact area that needs growth.

• Ask questions before giving answers. Coaching isn’t about telling someone what to do—it’s about drawing out their thinking so they own the solution.

• Balance encouragement with challenge. Recognize strengths while pushing individuals outside their comfort zone. Both are necessary for growth.

• Make it ongoing. Coaching isn’t an annual performance review—it’s consistent, real-time feedback that becomes part of everyday conversations.

• Show belief in potential. At its core, good coaching communicates: “I see more in you, and I want to help you get there.”

And employees—your role matters too. Don’t treat coaching as criticism. Think back to your time on a team, when coaching meant someone believed in you enough to invest in your growth. Seek it out. Invite it. Embrace it.

Takeaway: Confirmation encourages. Coaching transforms. As leaders, our challenge is to go beyond recognition and step fully into coaching. And as employees, our opportunity is to welcome that coaching as the key to unlocking our potential.