Being Heard vs. Getting Your Way: Are We Confusing the Two?
6/13/2025
We live in a time where “feedback culture” is celebrated—where teams are encouraged to speak up, share openly, and contribute to shaping decisions. This shift from more hierarchical, top-down dynamics of generations past is largely a good thing. It fosters innovation, inclusivity, and connection. But there’s a subtle challenge emerging beneath this progress: somewhere along the way, being heard is getting confused with getting your way.
Let’s be clear—these are not the same thing.
More organizations than ever are working hard to create environments where people feel psychologically safe to speak up. That’s a major win. When done well, it surfaces great ideas, exposes blind spots, and strengthens decisions by bringing in diverse perspectives.
But here's the tension: when someone shares their perspective and it doesn’t directly shape the final decision, frustration can follow. “Why did they even ask for input if they weren’t going to use it?” Sound familiar?
This is where the disconnect happens. Providing feedback and being heard doesn’t guarantee that your suggestion will be adopted. And it shouldn’t.
Leaders are charged with balancing multiple inputs—goals, constraints, timelines, risks, and yes, the feedback of others. Not every idea will make it into the final plan, and that doesn’t mean the idea was dismissed or unappreciated. It means it was weighed alongside many other factors.
So what can we do?
Redefine what it means to be heard. Being heard means your input was genuinely considered, not necessarily implemented.
Set clear expectations when asking for feedback. Be transparent about how decisions will be made and what role feedback will play.
Acknowledge the contribution—even when it’s not used. A simple “thank you” and explanation of the outcome can go a long way in reinforcing trust.
Build resilience in feedback culture. Encourage people to share not because their idea will always win, but because contributing itself is powerful and valued.
Feedback culture works best when everyone understands the rules of the game. Let's make sure we’re playing it with clarity and intention—because being heard matters, even when the outcome isn’t what we hoped for.